Walking on Sunshine
2.10.2024
Is the weather getting you down? It’s hard to know what to make of this largely dark, cloudy, unseasonably warm weather. Many people seem worried about it but I have to admit, I’m taking it as a gift to me personally this year. With mobility as a challenge, I’ve been grateful to navigate less snow and ice but I sure do miss the sun!
The past few weeks have been rough. The things I was capable of doing a few weeks ago quickly dissolved into the blur of activities no longer possible for me. Mobility became a huge issue. Physically and emotionally, I have been giving more than 100% and it has been chipping away at my sense of wellbeing.
I began my new medication last Saturday. It is an old chemotherapy drug that is taken orally. After a week of treatment I get a break to recover. Luckily, there’s not much to recover from so far. This medicine carries with it many of the usual chemotherapy side effects you might think of - nausea, mouth sores, skin issues, compromising the immune system, etc. - but I’m doing pretty well so far. If all continues to go well we may increase the dose. (Yikes!) Still, I’ll do just about anything. I want it to work!
Maybe it is working…you’ll never believe what happened this morning. I walked across the kitchen. I did not crawl hand over hand around the countertops. I did not wobble my way across, barely making it. No! I just walked! I hoped for this but I have to admit I did not see it coming, not today. When you are using all you have to move around each day, even with a great deal of hope, drastic change can seem impossible. It feels miraculous for yesterday’s impossible to become today’s reality. What a joy! After making my first big steps, I announced my accomplishment to my family. Paul quickly started up celebratory music on the stereo. “Walking on Sunshine” by Katrina and the Waves sounded through the kitchen speakers. Suddenly, we couldn’t stop smiling. Jackson boogied around the room and spun across the floor. Laughter filled the air. Mine was cautious dancing but dancing just the same. I could wave my arms and wiggle my body without falling, without wavering much. Oh! What a gift!
I want to do everything now, but I’ll try not to. I’m guessing my next lesson will be on pacing myself. For now, I’m happy to be walking with more ease. Even if it’s cloudy outside, I’ll be “Walking on Sunshine” for the foreseeable future.