Grow
3.8.2024
I’ve always admired the earliest perennial plants of spring. They creep out or sometimes burst forth enthusiastically when the weather is still chilly. Their internal clock tells them something is coming that is greater than the cold. Something is coming that will nurture them. They’ll have everything they need to grow.
The last time I wrote I became able to take a few steps on my own. Things have continued to improve in small increments with walking but I have also learned how to use my canes, walker and humbled myself enough to enjoy the wheelchair when it is needed.
I have further reason to believe that the medicine is working. In addition to my improved balance, the nodules on my neck are shrinking. There is one that is visible and it is definitely smaller!
Despite all this joyful news, I am often overcome with grief. I cry nearly every day. Even on my laughingest days I still lose some tears. I guess even for a fairly positive person this cancer stuff isn’t a joyride. I wish it were. I just have to feel my feelings, though, and trust that this time will pass. I trust that, like my rhubarb, chives and parsley, something is coming that will nurture me. I have everything I need to grow.