Walking, Simply Walking
2.2.2024
There’s always something to be thankful for. I’ve had my challenges finding those things lately! There has been a stark contrast between my lived experience and what I’m working for, hoping for, searching for: health.
It’s been nearly three months since I last wrote. I’ve been busy adapting to many changes. In early November I was beginning a different chemotherapy and it worked. My eyesight improved significantly! I managed to stay on it long enough to get some real benefit but ultimately we stopped because it was too hard on my body. We moved onto another medicine but stopped that as well; it wasn’t working. Tomorrow I begin another new (to me) medicine. The side effects don’t sound very fun (they never do), but I’m strangely excited to begin. I want it to work. I’m ready for it to work.
So, I can barely walk now. Side effects of medication paired with cancer near my brain have me swaying and wobbling like crazy. Everything I do is a tremendous effort. I move through life furniture-grabbing and creeping along with canes or a walker. Oh how I miss my old life and everything I used to do! Bending over to pick toys up off the floor, carrying a basket of laundry, even cleaning the bathroom sounds appealing now. Aside from spontaneous remission, walking smoothly across a room has become my ultimate dream. Perhaps this is not forever, only for now? My doctor has planted seeds of hope. (Bless him.) If we can get the cancer knocked back I may walk with ease again.
It’s funny the things we overlook when searching for something to be thankful for. On my tough days, I need to find something positive to keep going. Back in the good old days (last summer), I never would have considered gratitude for walking. Walking, simply walking is a beautiful gift! Walk across a room, up the stairs, through your neighborhood, through a pasture or through the woods. If I could, I know I would! Have you been for a walk today?