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9.22.2020
Maybe you noticed that I disappeared. I haven't responded to messages since July. Not really. I couldn't. I was curled deeply into myself, nestled close with my little household. Every day my focus was to be as peaceful as possible, heal, eat and exercise. Even those tasks seemed challenging on some days.
Last week was a big one. It felt like the first test of my new treatment plan. Chemo ended in June. It's been awhile. Is the cancer growing again?
It's not easy to approach tests with perfect faith. Even when I feel great, even when I know I am healthy, doubts well up when I'm faced with proof of my internal state.
I had a CT scan and an echocardiogram last week. The CT was looking for cancer. The echo was measuring the fluid around my heart. Even though I knew a bit of the results last week, I got the full assessment when I went to the cancer center this morning.
Take a deep breath. Are you ready?
It looks great! For a lady who has been dealing with cancer around her lungs, heart and in her bones, it couldn't get much better. There's still a large effusion around my heart - lots of fluid that doesn't belong there. But, there's a tiny bit less than last time and amazingly, it's not bothering me. There aren't problems with my heart function so I can be as active as I want. I'd be happier if the fluid left but it's fine in there as long as it's not increasing. My bones have healed. Oh, and remember last summer when I spent weeks in the hospital for lung surgery? Even the fluid that was stuck around my right lung after surgery has improved!
I am healing. This is what I wanted. It is here. Thank you for loving, supporting and offering me grace in the process. You are a blessing.
I'm back!