The Sky Is Falling
3.22.2020
The sky is falling! If you read the news you might think so and I may have to agree with you. At least it feels that way.
I find myself in a countdown of sorts. As I write, I’m at the 40 hours mark. 40 hours until my sky falls. 40 hours until the unthinkable happens to my body, my every cell, my heart.
I dance between joy and despair. Joy and happy anticipation are real. I am excited and happy for the chemotherapy to come. I humble myself and admit I need it. I am ready. I accept the benefits and ask the rest to pass by quickly, without harm. Still, I am human. I have done this before. I know too well what may come. Dread and despair sometimes reach for me. I don’t hold hands with them but they are in the room. They get close. I honor them and let them go.
Truth saves me, I guess. I know truth in its many forms. I know that I get to decide how I view everything around and inside me. I get to decide my focus and my beliefs. So, I look to the Light. I breathe deeply. I trust. I try to forget the hours and live. Maybe the sky won’t fall after all.