Blessings
6.2.2022
Hello! It’s been a long time! I took a vacation from writing. I hope you don’t mind. Living with metastatic breast cancer is no small feat so taking one item off my to-do list was…well, needed.
Remission isn't the way I thought it would be. I imagined it would be sunshine, wild joy, and light radiating everywhere. I thought it would be complete confidence that everything is perfect and exactly how it should be.
It's not like that.
It has been, Is this what ‘normal’ feels like? It has been slowly, slowly having more energy. It has been me trying not to panic every time I don't feel well. It has been a practice in trust.
For a few months I enjoyed an enormous burst of energy. I was doing my regular exercises but found I could do even more. I felt better every day - better than I’d felt in years! I began to glimpse what I thought normal, non-cancerous people might feel like. Then one morning, I woke up in pain. When you have cancer, new pain = scans.
I met with my oncologist today to go over all that has happened:
*I had a PET scan - we look for cancer with this one,
*an echocardiogram of my heart, and
*a few weeks ago, I had fluid drained from the lining of my left lung.
Good news! There’s not much going on cancer-wise in my body. There are little bits but it does not really appear to be progressing.
My heart looks good and there is even less fluid than last time we checked.
Finally, my left lung. I do have a large amount of fluid pressing on my lung. It may be causing my stomach pain. I had some of it drained away, but there is still a lot in there. Since I’d rather feel great instead of good, we’re going to drain more. It’s a little tricky to have needles stuck between my ribs but it’ll be worth it. I’m going to feel amazing once it’s gone! So, I’m delighted!
I hope all this means I can turn back to writing. I love connecting with you. I hope you will stay with me, keep reading, and maybe even share me with a friend. Thank you for being here. Blessings to you all.