Rising Up
4.21.2020
Do you recognize these beauties? They are the first big harvest from our food garden. We’ve been sprinkling chives and chopping green onions for a while but hostas are the first food that will fill bellies. Widely grown but little known to be edible, hostas seem to be in almost every shade garden. As pictured here they are in the perfect state for harvest.
I find myself feeling much like these hosta sprouts the past few days. I’m emerging from a winter that has been far longer than this COVID crisis or even my most recent cancer excitement. I’m feeling really good. It’s wonderful and I have a sense of this being a deeper good than I’ve felt in a long time. Like hardy plants emerging from the cold dirt I’m rising to the surface after more than a year of feeling the effects of this metastatic breast cancer. Each time I feel well, it is relative to how I felt before which-despite my best efforts-has not been perfect for a long time. I’m talking years here.
Depending on our relationship, you may have seen me retreat inside myself. I don’t call, we don’t get together, message responses take longer and longer. It’s a cocooning that has been necessary. It’s not over but there is a tiny hole in the cocoon. I’m peeking out of it and there is light. Excitement is bubbling up and I enjoy knowing that this time is just this time. There will be other times full of activity and social calls and hand shaking and hugs.
For now, I’m focusing on the wonders that are happening all around me. There are children laughing. The sun is shining and life is rising up from dark places.